RED ROSES AND GUILT IN THE BLUEGRASS

It has oft times been reported - particularly in circles known to be travelled exclusively by men - that Valentine's Day is another one of those 'pseudo-holidays' invented by women (and greeting card companies) for the sole purpose of extracting as much affection, attention, gifts and prose as possible from their husbands, fiances, boyfriends and men-folk in general. The women in our lives seem to possess an uncanny ability to not only accomplish this feat while maintaining a coy, detached aloofness but they also manage to register a discernible and substantial amount of surprise when men actually come through with the requisite gifts and attention. Phrases such as, "For me?"; "Today is Valentine's Day?"; "Why, I'd forgotten all about it!"; "You didn't really need to get me anything."; "You remembered!"; "Honest, this is such a surprise!" and the ubiquitous, "Oh Honey, you really shouldn't have!" abound, resound and reverberate throughout the homes of America and in a dozen or more languages in various parts of the world.

It should also be noted that the fairer sex has an innate ability to do these things without betraying any of the qualities that endeared them to us in the beginning. They remain - if possible - even more beautiful, thoughtful, kind, loving and considerate during this highly ritualized dance of intrigue. They even have the uncanny talent of making us feel guilty when they issue forth with such commentary as, "I don't need anything for Valentine's Day."; "Really, you don't need to get me anything."; "A simple card would be wonderful for Valentine's Day." and the REAL deal maker, "I'm really not expecting anything, honey. I'm happy. Besides, it's enough just being married to you!" OUCH. Having made such poignant (and accurate) observations, I would be remiss if I failed to add another. What is it about DeBeers, Kay Jewelers, Zales, ProFlowers and all the other Valentine's Day promoting entities that make it sound like Valentine's Day is the only day of the year when it is appropriate to give your better-half jewelry or flowers? Or cards and sweet things? What about the other 364 days of the year? Is it not okay to send your wife a dozen roses just because it's Wednesday? What about an impromptu, romantic, candlelight dinner on a cardtable in the living room on a Thursday afternoon? Do we really need a holiday to express those feelings that should be expressed each waking day? Well, no. . . not actually. . . but it is nice to have one special day when we can cast off the vestiges of cavemen and treat the ladies in the manner with which they are so deserving of being treated.

After reading these comments, it's only natural for you to wonder what the passage of Valentine's Day left in its wake in the Hutchens' household. Right? Right? Smiles. It left smiles. Smiles, hugs and . . . well, you know - a sufficient amount of suck face. In large measure because Lynne was treated to a surprise delivery of three dozen red roses followed by dinner and a movie. Hey, I may be pragmatic at times, but I'm actually a sensitive guy at heart. . . and I'm certainly not an idiot.